Utter Disgust

I am at the edge of a chasm, certain as to how I arrived here, but not yet sure by what specific means I will get across.

She brought me here, but fell victim to gravity, trusting that I would care for her while she stood at the precipice.  Her trust was misplaced.  I could have held her hand while she stood at the edge, but I did not.  Instead, I watched as she fell back into a world of uncertainty; as the distance between us grew and she fell into the darkness, she continued to reach out to  me helplessly.  Her expression of fear, pain and anxiety remains indelibly etched upon my mind.

She was discharged, because she was no longer considered a “rehabilitative candidate”.  She had fibromyalgia, but I explained to her that I am unable to treat her pain directly.  My job was to assess ROM, strength, and quality of movement.  It was in those areas that my expertise lay.  I told her that if I were to treat those “deficits”, in my experience, people would often feel better.  Unfortunately, for her (after 2 months of care), she was not one of those lucky people.  I apologized for the bad news, without expressing accountability.

I wonder if she is still falling.  Did she lose her balance, or did I push her?  I do not know, but there will certainly be more like her, and they deserve to receive care from the other side of the chasm.


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